We get snow out here where we live, a lot. It’s no big deal, we are used to it. Plus C plows so I am used to riding the storm out solo. Yes it’s lame and boring but now that I have kids (and cable) I have entertainment.

This year though we haven’t had any snow. No white winter, not even real cold until this week. Now we are supposed to have a blowout. Like mother nature has been constipated all winter and instead of her regular small to medium snowstorms she drank a cup of my “smooth-move tea”, which by the way is anything but smooth, and we are all in for a massive system evacuation.

C went full throttle too on the precautionary measures, he got a generator, a kerosine heater AND left me a machine to attempt plowing our driveway. It almost begs the question – ummmmm, what about all the previous years??? He must realize that if something happens to me, he will have two children to take care of so he’s terrified. It makes sense.

Sooooo C gave me the run down on all the man-chores I would be required to perform. I call them man chores because most ladies men do these chores, because their outdoorsey and dangerous and most women tend to the kids and are usually barefoot and pregnant in the kitchen, cooking their men dinner like a real woman should. Hahahah thats’s a total joke we all know I don’t cook. Anyway, it was pretty a very disturbing evening for me and my nerves.

C gave thorough and specific directions which my brain translated as follows;

• do not touch the hot end of the power cord after you plug it into the running generator – or you will get electrocuted and YOU WILL DIE.
• do not forget to open the garage after you start the generator – or everyone WILL DIE.
• do not forget to turn on the generator if the power goes out – or everyone will freeze AND DIE. And the pipes in the house will burst, but you will be DEAD either way, whichever happens first.
• when the power goes out first turn off all the breakers in the house before tuning on the generator – or it will catch on fire, blow up, explode, I can’t remember what happens but it would be very very bad, IMMINENT DEATH.
• when the power comes back on first turn off the generator then turn the breakers back on or it will… see above, IMMINENT DEATH.
• directions for the kerosine heater and the skid loader were very much the same.

The good news is we are in Day 1 of snowmagedon 2016 and we have had no casualties. Spirits are up and we are hanging on to hope. (hope of C coming home and doing all this BS work so I don’t have to) I will keep you all posted.