2 cents

The good the bad and the ugly why the f did I watch this and ruin my life.

We love movies in this house and watch them in abundance. I used to watch everything from thrillers, slashers, sci-fi, action to drama… and then slowly the extreme versions of certain genres (thank you P.S. I love you, I had a migraine from excessive sobbing for like a month) began to erode my brain and etch themselves so deeply into my soul that I like couldn’t bounce back. Like I still won’t go into my bathroom and look in the mirror at midnight, I don’t care if you think that is juvenile it’s my life we’re talking about here. And I don’t care who you are if you’ve watched any Final Destination movies you aren’t driving behind any trucks with lumber, metal poles of re-bar or any other building material even if it is strapped down. It’s unclear to me if this is some sort of a hormonal imbalance or just the fact I have an obsessive personality with a tendency to hold on to all things emotional way too long. Maybe it’s because I am an artist, yea lets go with that.

So I am laying in bed wondering what I should blog about since nothing particularly exciting has been happening lately and it dawned on me why I was laying in bed at 1:47 am wide awake in a certain state of paranoia anyway.

***spoiler alerts***

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Backcountry – An urban couple go camping in the woods and find themselves lost in the territory of a predatory black bear.
So usually I read a synopsis of all movies C buys because he isn’t as discriminatory about watching movies that ruin your life, or ability to sleep at night. Somehow I missed the part about the black bear and just figured it was a typical escape for your life from some backcountry hillbillies, or marijuana growers, or drug dealers or any other group of bad guys that would typically hunt down a couple in the woods. It started off harmless enough with a romantic canoe down a mountain and camping in the woods, slow and awkward – then all the sudden it took a turn for the worst, showing excessively graphic mauling of human flesh, skin being torn from limbs. I mean this guy was essentially gutted having his intestines eaten while simultaneously screaming at his girlfriend to effing run for her life. Maybe I wouldn’t have been so terrified and scarred had canoeing and camping in bear country not been a favorite pastime of mine – see my earlier post on “wild camping”. I feel sick writing this and when the sprinklers came on at 10 pm and water started hitting my window I was absolutely effing certain a bear was attempting to break into my house to dine on my organs.

The Forger – A thief works with his father and son to forge a painting by Monet and steal the original. Together, they plan the heist of their lives.
YES. Thank you John Travolta for being in this movie, NOT. Who doesn’t love the other JT? Well this synopsis is a bit misleading if your like me with a tenancy to break a muther effing pipe and lose all ability to control the water works this movie is NOT for you. It was also slow, not the original action movie we thought it would be. As a matter of fact what the synopsis should read is “A thief makes a bad deal to get out of prison and spend quality time with his teen son who is dying of cancer” No I didn’t see that coming until it was too late either. You can thank me later for saving you a night of emotional turmoil.

Avengers Age of Ultron – amazing, a little bit of side story’s to go with the main plot. Light, action packed no tears no fears. C thought it was too busy. I liked it, I did weep like a baby at a certain point but someone had to die.

Terminator Genisys – very good. Might be my favorite so far. It was a little confusing, there was a lot of time hoping and parents younger than children and weird computer talk, and memories happening before they actually happened kind of stuff so it was a bit hard to exactly follow but whatever its a terminator movie, just freaking run for your life and you’ll be a’ight.

Strike Back (2010) – This is a bit of an older TV show that I saw on Amazon Prime and remembered my parents and my brothers were in to so I started watching. Wow. It’s good, I got sucked in and watched the two Prime seasons and then bought the third and watched. The cast is attractive, the plot for each episode is exciting, lots of action, (lots of hardcore nudity and awfully rowdy sexual content which I could of done without) but other than that it was soooo good. I’m even less sad that the series ended because one of the leads (Sullivan Stapleton; also seen in 300 Rise of an Empire – soooooo good) is in a new series called Blindspot which I plan to check out.

Under the Dome – ugh what happened? It was off to a good start but now I can’t even get through an episode. I guess with any series you binge watch your bound to run into the inevitable lack of plot. Especially stories like this that aren’t really going anywhere story wise anyway…

Is it better to have a series burn itself out? (Beauty & the Beast, Under the Dome) Or END (or get dropped) and leave you feeling abandoned and empty like your boyfriend just dumped you. (White Collar, The Tomorrow People) I don;t know all the answers but I hate when good things come to an end. It’s so hard to fill the void.

one of those days

If this doesn’t sum up my day I don’t know what will…

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Forgetting to place coffee cup under drip. Awesome.

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Immediate response required for a major network casting – I respond with awesome headshot. They want a selfie. Stuck in traffic bad hair day selfie. Greeeeat. 

At least it’s Friday and the girls and I are equipped for a lazy snowed in weekend complete with pickle chips, ice cream and crab legs. Yikes. Typing that just made me realize I sound pregnant.

we are so over

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I have a problem; acknowledgement is the first step so I’ve heard. I’ve been conditioned by a big box retailer and I know I’m not the only one. I mean, I’ve seen E-Cards on Pinterest that tout the same phenomenon so it must be an epidemic if it’s made it to an E-Card. We’re talking Target here if you haven’t guessed yet. It’s a quintessential black hole. There is something magical (and by that I mean illegal) pumping out of their ventilation system. I’m convinced of this because no matter how much I tell myself I’m not there to “shop” but to merely restock the toilet paper I inevitably end up redecorating a room in my house by the time I leave, which by the way is usually an easy 5 hours later. How do they do it? They just suck you in, that innocent red and white circle thing beckoning to you from the side of the highway… It reminds me of that all-seeing eye from Lord of the Rings. How can I be so focused on picking up cat litter one minute and the next be totally obsessed, and convinced I need curtains? I can’t even let myself shop there, no self control, it’s depressing! For example, last winter I bought a bikini, I was 8 months pregnant. Who does that?

Things included in my last excursion include; an oversized bean bag (seemed like a good idea at the time) new collar for my dog (WTF??) sunglasses (ehhh) an iPhone wallet (which I haven’t even used!!!) diapers (okay this is totally legit) a topiary (who doesn’t need fake potted grass?)

The only way I am able to curb my spending these days is to totally avoid Target.

Dearest Target, (after today) – wait, let me explain – Easter is this weekend and I NEED some stuff for the girls baskets, but that’s it though, after today our relationship is over. I’m kicking you to the curb, and theres no hard feelings for potentially exposing my credit card information to hackers. But I am done wasting money on you. Don’t call me. Seriously though – don’t call. GoodBye.