oops.

Posted on 03/25/2015 by amberunraveled

I just got in trouble. Luckily no harm, no foul.

Sometimes though, I just can’t help myself. When I see certain things, like figure 1. below, I just have to capture the moment. Then, whenever I am feeling blue, or want to blackmail C, I just open up the folder on my computer that says “C” and speculate how someone can be so freaking crazy.

Figure 1.

That’s a dog toy on the floor. I realize that it could potentially look like some X rated paraphernalia but I swear it’s not.

Anyway, on to the story. C installed surveillance cameras at his place of business for security purposes. It was new and exciting and we would watch them at night from our ipad at home. That got old fast though because it was pretty boring – I mean it was nighttime so it was dark and nobody was robbing the place. So C called me while at work and said “check the cameras, do they even work?” SOOOO.

Maybe you know where I am going with this? Maybe not…

I pop open the app and sure enough screens start uploading and there is a naked man walking around C’s workshop. I won’t say the name of this man but he was recognizable. Then I see it, the “camera” option on the screen and snap a pic. C starts asking if I see anything, and I say “Nope, cameras aren’t working”

Naked man continues to wander, doing some high leg stretches and some interesting gymnastics type moves. I keep snapping pictures with absolutely no clue where these photos are going…

Until today. When the naked mans mother used the ipad to take photos of a customers lawn. Oooopsy!

The funny part is she doesn’t know who naked man is either. There are a few potential candidates in the family circle of possibilities and all suspects are equally plausibly guilty for such behavior – even at said location no less.

who does that edition

Posted on 03/07/2015 by amberunraveled

Who takes their dogs stiches out themselves?

And yes he takes his own stiches out himself too. So weird.

Who snow shovels shirtless? In his defense our neighbor was shoveling in shorts this morning …

Yup. Teaching the girls to do handstands before bath time.

dammit

Posted on 02/22/2015 by amberunraveled

As a mother I try to avoid profanity as much as possible so in moments of utter frustration I tend to huff really loud similar to an animal giving birth.

something like: uggggghhhhhhhhhHHHHHH in various tones and pitches.

However, O just informed me “when something goes wrong, I need to yell DAMMIT really loud“.

Sounds legit.

shadow box

Posted on 02/20/2015 by amberunraveled

I was reading this blog a while back I found on Pinterest (shocker) and this lady had made these shadow boxes for her kids that were super freaking cute. Like so cute I went to Michael’s and bought a bunch of miscellaneous crap without the slightest plan, rhyme or reason. Just a wild hair. That is the story of my life, I will randomly see something and become so inspired that I spend every waking hour obsessing over it until I get it out of my system. It’s like these little spastic fits of creativity and motivation in between long spans of boredom and laziness.

Okay – I am finally back. You guys don’t know this but I just got sucked into the black hole of Pinterest. I went to go find the image above because it was such a perfect and accurate representation of how my stupid brain works. Anyway I started reading all the other hilarious quotes I’ve posted and started laughing thinking I could totally make a blog post about funny quotes – oh snap, wait I am working on a blog post right now, that’s right I logged in here for a reason, back on track. Boom.

Anywho, back to the boxes… I had to look through my pictures and pick out a theme. I picked pink for O because everything I purchased and received for my first girl was pink.

Look at that tiny little thing. I don’t remember anything about the hospital stay from my first child. I was on so many drugs and tranquilizers it was all a blur so it’s nice to see pictures of what actually happened. Apparently my parents visited. Look how sexy my ma is. She’s a G-MILF.

Christmas Day, bringing the new baby home. We stopped to pick up our furbabies at C’s parents house.

Dude. Look at this kid. Made for the camera.

O’s Box. Aunt Lauren hand made that hat for her and she wore it a lot too because her head was like 90th percentile (trust me on this it felt that way coming out) and this hat stretched real nice. I wrapped that letter O with yarn too for a splash of texture. I also glued all the stuff in there with a glue gun. The blog I read said some people tacked their stuff in there so it didn’t get ruined but her perspective was it was now art and wasn’t going to be wore again. I agreed and glued my shit in there too.

W was different. I didn’t do all pink with her from the beginning but I did do a lot of animal print.

Us bringing this small fry home. Obviously I was eating tacos and taking drugs because I see wraps on the table and the medicine cabinet is open in the background.

My brother took these adorable pictures of the girls. So sweet.

Look at that little face. Almost makes me want another one…

Ha just kidding it doesn’t.

Her little box is pink too but a bit more funky. O was always classic, W seems a bit more brave and wild. Second child thing, self fulfilling prophecy – guess I will never know.

one of those days

Posted on 02/20/2015 by amberunraveled

If this doesn’t sum up my day I don’t know what will…

Forgetting to place coffee cup under drip. Awesome.

Immediate response required for a major network casting – I respond with awesome headshot. They want a selfie. Stuck in traffic bad hair day selfie. Greeeeat.

At least it’s Friday and the girls and I are equipped for a lazy snowed in weekend complete with pickle chips, ice cream and crab legs. Yikes. Typing that just made me realize I sound pregnant.