fun & games

Sometimes I call my mom and ask her if my kids are normal. I wonder if that’s normal. I would look on the internet but I’ve learned my lesson far too many times from doing that. The more recent child weirdness I’ve experienced is them making up their own shady games. I don’t get these games. The way the two of them laugh so freaking hard and hysterically it’s almost as if the games mean something I don’t get. Like an inside joke!  I finally couldn’t take it anymore and made O give me the low down on the two most popular games they have been playing.  Get ready for some ambiguity.

The top two weird games my kids play and created on their own.

  1. Grabby Goat. Yes. What the hell is that. O tried to explain.
    O “Someone puts a blanket on top of something and then someone grabs it off.”
    Um, ok.
    Me “like puts a blanket on top of some toys?”
    O “uh, noooo, only on top humans”
    Me “humans as in W?”
    O “well, yea, I always have to be the goat because W will just bite me. She always tries to bite me and she bit me in my arm, see?”
  2. Man in his Truck. There was no plausible explanation for this alleged game. O said the game is that W pretends to be a “man, in his truck” when she wears our dog, Lady’s pink doggles. Doggles are Dog sunglasses/goggles. So W puts the pink Doggles on then both of them run wildly around the entire house screaming “man in his truck! man in his truck! man in his truck!” like coked up maniacs. I have so many unanswered questions. Why she is a man? What do doggles have to do with a truck? I tried to press O for additional background on this game to no avail. Trade secrets maybe.

I may never understand the inner workings of preschool minds or their methods for developing games. It may just be an excuse to run around the house and act crazy, I wish they would create a quiet game, maybe they could pretend to be Cinderella and clean the whole house? Now that’s a game I can get behind.

 

O's favorite things

I’m big into lists right now. I don’t know why. I actually take that back, I have always been big into lists. My entire life is like a giant, never-ending to-do or grocery list. But maybe because the school season is approaching I have started thinking in an even more structured and nonsensical way about everything in my life.

So to go with the theme of lists here are five of O’s favorite things in life right now;

  1. making messes. It doesn’t matter where, it’s just her thing. Dumping toy boxes, spilling drinks, getting anything and everything everywhere. All messes in my house were created by her. (or the dog. Unless O is shredding dirty diapers and eating sh*t out of the trash can and just blaming the dog but I doubt it.)
  2. scotch tape. Scotch tape is like the newest obsession in my house. She scotch tapes everything. She tries to make books and scotch tape them together, I keep trying to introduce staples as a much more efficient book making mechanism but she won’t stand for it. She even scotch tapes her barbies to stuff, like the kitchen cabinet knobs. It’s like these poor barbies are trapped in giant scotch tape spider web fiasco’s all over my house. It’s both weird and creepy – however may be appropriate to keep around as Halloween Decor.
    1. as a side note W is into that blue painter tape. C uses it to tape down drawings and plans to the drawing table and W likes to rip off 1 million smallish pieces and stick them all over her face and body.
  3. stickers. F stickers. I hate you stickers. I have like a sticker infestation in my house right now. There are stickers stuck to the hardwood floors, toilets, toys, my desk, the kitchen table, the windows… when W was a baby I saw this weird blue thing in her mouth and C and I had to hold her down and dig a blue circular sticker with a flower on it out of her mouth – it was stuck to the roof of her mouth! I kept that one for the baby book obviously. All others stickers get destroyed onsite. 
  4. signs. We have pictorial signs all over the place right now. There is a picture of a girl “scotch taped” (go figure) to the bathroom door because that’s the girls bathroom, sorry daddy you must go outside and do your business. There is a picture of W and another picture of O taped to either side of the family room, because that’s their respective sides of the room for playing. I also found about 8 random signs taped to the wall space above the couch in my office varying in images from flowers to unicorns.
  5. clothes. So she is super obsessed with clothes right now. I know, adorable right? No. It’s effing annoying. She is constantly changing, like “oh, I sneezed and got germs on this shirt – I must change 563 times and throw every article of clothing I own all over the room and for good measure I will also throw some over the upstairs railing down onto the couch in the family room. AND in case that doesn’t drive Mommy to hide in the pantry and drink copious amounts of wine I will THEN proceed to hide the most important articles of clothing, the staples mommy always picks for me to wear in hidden locations, like under the bed or at the bottom of the toy box….”

Listen to me complaining. Like I don’t think everything O does is the most absolutely adorable and hilarious thing ever ever ever. Keep doing your thing O, and I’ll just keep cleaning up after you, it’s my job – plus it gives me great material. (And interesting talking points when my neighbors come over. I doubt anybody else in the neighborhood has Barbies taped to their kitchen cabinets.)

little girls

Sugar and spice and everything nice.

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W taking a picture of O (making a heart with her hands)

Sometimes they play so good and look so freaking cute I could imagine having 100 of them running around.

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HAHAHHAHA. Then reality hit’s and I’m all like, THAT was the WINE talking.

who the bleep

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O just wrapped her first episodic. She’s on fire! She got cast about a week ago to play the leads 5yo daughter. Super sweet! The show is Who the Bleep Did I Marry on Investigation Discovery.

She rocked too, obviously.

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I can’t give any details until the show airs but she had a blast! Well, I never know if she has fun or not. Guess anything is better than sitting at home – but it’s actually work. We keep asking her if she likes doing “acting” and she says YES. So she’s the boss!

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That’s O and her fake big sister Kelly. That’s W too running around like a child that hadn’t napped. She even has crazy hair.

I will let everyone know once the show airs!!

waverly

We took Wave to her first audition. It ended up not being her thing but that’s ok. She used to be so outgoing but recently she is going through this shyness phase. Maybe we will try again in a few months if something comes up but for now she’s not interested in the lime light, at least the public one.

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