chanting

My kids have been chanting a lot lately and its bugging me out. I try not to worry too much whether my kids are weird or normal or whatever because, let’s face it – the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree and the forest in this case has a lot of… let’s say character. I don’t know if that made any sense at all, that metaphor just got a bit off track I think. Anyway so back to the point, I literally caught the girls on tape this morning having a chant-fest, I was eating breakfast when I heard these tiny rhythmic voices saying “circle him“, wondering what the H E double hockey sticks kind of demonic game they were playing that would require them to chant “circle him, circle him” I grabbed my cell phone like any sane millennial mom and started rolling the video…

Apparently Captain America was running around pony village like he owned the place reeking havoc and such. So the ponies were all like, ugh no way Captain America your butt is going to jail. Commence ponies circling their intruder like a pack of hungry wolves. I know. It’s not an ordinary game but the certainly get points for originality and I am certainly going to screen My Little Pony episodes a bit more often.

real men series 1

real men carry the groceries in for their ladies. all at one time. every single bag. one trip. boom. then they ruin it by saying something stupid like “make me dinner woman“. but mine doesn’t do that because for 1, he knows all I bought was junk food anyway and for 2, I don’t know how to cook so anything I made would likely make him vomit, or at least feel very ill. lucky guy.

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passive aggressive

passive aggressive shit via my kids

  1. W yells “HAPPY BIRTHDAY” when she’s pissed. Pretty sure thats a big F. U.
  2. O draws crying stick figures and hearts breaking when she gets in trouble and tapes them all over the house
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  3. W freezes people who get on her bad side with her “stuper powers” a la evil Elsa
  4. O regularly threatens that I will have to snuggle with the cat if I make her go to bed too early.
    IMG_9993 she looks snuggley, right?
  5. They literally pick their toys UP OFF THE FLOOR when I tell them to clean upIMG_9992
  6. W goes through the house shutting and locking all the effing bedroom doors. She knows I hate going up and down the stairs, I am not athletic – it winds me.
  7. O throws anything she breaks in the trash can so she doesn’t get busted – no matter who’s stuff it is.
  8. W will poop on the floor if we don’t turn on the bathroom light for her, every time.

For real though. Thats a total knife. I found this picture and the story behind it is right there however I don’t read squiggle line so I don’t know what it says. I’m going to assume this is the result of something C did to make O angry – the fact that it’s in red and furiously squiggly I bet its a horror story. I’ll confirm and follow up. This is juicy – yet terrifying at the same time… to be continued

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candy necklaces

Home made candy necklace, or bracelet. Remember candy necklaces? My kids don’t because we are sugar free. We are also grain free, hormone free, glucose free, pesticide free, vegetable free, meat free and least but not least sanity free. Just kidding. But seriously who eats holes through their food. She doesn’t eat like a normal human but more like a caterpillar.

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sorry santa

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I took the girls to see Santa last minute, literally just for the picture. I dressed them up and we waited an atrocious period of time to see him since we arrived on his “scheduled break”. Thanks a lot Cranberry Mall website for mentioning that.

Anyway we were next in line and W says “HOLD ME”.

I pick her up and she grabs a big chunk of my hair and breathes heavily in my ear and all over my neck as I squirm not knowing whether she will scream or bite me or what the heck she plans on doing…

She suddenly whispers “I’m going to poop on Santa’s lap.”

no words.

bling

Daddy was on daycare duty while O was at an audition a few weeks ago. He text me this adorable picture of W enjoying her new favorite place sweet frog frozen yogurt.

 

awww cute.

Then he text me back and says “notice anything?

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Oh god, new baby earrings!!! So adorable!! C has to do that stuff because I can’t watch. He said her eyes got all big and when they walked away she looked him square in the eye and said “They HURT me”. Sooooo sad 🙁

I was really unsure if she would keep them in or mess with them because she didn’t really ask for them like O did. But She loved them! She kept showing everybody “Look at my earrings.” She was so proud and she even twists them herself.

pfizer

O just wrapped her first big time commercial.

It was probably the biggest one she has done so far in terms of competition and work involved on her part. Her BandAid commercial ended up being really big but it was nonunion to start so none of the union pros were able to audition. This commercial was a union job so all the union kids auditioned in addition to any nonunion kids. She had a couple solid lines and a principal role in the shoot.

I must admit I was nervous, we go on these auditions and typically the odds are so stacked against you that you leave and don’t think much more about it. (ok, well that’s such a lie because I think about it every day until I hear it books!)

I took her to the first audition, also called first round/call. We had just been to the same casting office a week or so earlier for a different huge casting (20 kids for a school class) which I was sure she would have booked but alas I will never know what casting is looking for. She did get a callback for that one too but ended up not booking! Bummer.

I will never understand this business and as much as I retrospectively analyze each experience it never paints a clear picture. We arrived on time and hung out in the waiting room. The casting director came out and informed all us moms there were lines for the audition so we all scrambled to get our kids prepped last minute. Usually we get the script ahead of time to practice but this was only a one-liner so it was no big deal. O ran lines a couple times then was called back and skipped her way into the audition room. But when she came out O came out with this look of sadness on her face I was immediately in mad-mom mode wondering what these people said to her.

“what happened, what’s wrong?” she informed me that casting asked her to do other lines that weren’t for her age. LOL. Good thing? Bad thing? One will never know. Except I did learn during the shoot the client thought O was hilarious because she apparently told casting in the audition “those aren’t my lines“. And she was right. And they loved her ‘tude I guess.

Then the callback audition.

This was awful timing for me and C so Grandmom ventured out this time. All was smooth sailing and O said she had fun and did a few more new lines.

O then got a “hold” placed on her, which is when they want specific kids to be available to them while they figure out  which one they will use for the shoot.

When we got the booking call I was nervous and excited.

It’s a lot of pressure wondering how O will be feeling the day of the shoot, if she will be into it or pick that day to decide she’s over this whole “acting” thing.

To top it off O woke up with pink eye two days before the shoot. I was FREAKING. Luckily I treated her with medication I had and it went away pretty quick but she totally woke up full blown sick sick sick the day after the shoot. I did learn a little stress reliever while on set – union gigs always book a back up kid in case things don’t work out with the first pick. PHEW. There were two for O’s role, two for her fake older brothers role and two sets of twins for the baby sister role! That was crazy because all the babies were cranky too. The very last baby of the four ended up working out for the shot.

 

She cracks me up with these roles. Whenever she gets off book for an audition she always incorporates new language from the audition or the characters name into daily play with her sister. She did a voicover audition for a fairy role and had t say “whoopsie-doodle”. Now her and W say “Whoopsi-doodle” all the time. And she makes us call her by her character name all the time too. Maybe she is a method actor? har har.

The shoot ended up going great. It was a lot of work for her but she nailed it. It should air in February – I will be sure to post it 1 million times everywhere I can as soon as I get my hands on it.