backstory

So my 3 (going on 16) year old is waaaay past due to start preschool. She missed the cut off with an end of the year birthday, hello Christmas eve-eve baby… and just all in all needs some sort of advanced mental stimulation or something because I am about ready to lock myself in the pantry (again) and drink another bottle of red. I’d like to think that she is such a genius that I simply can’t stimulate her oh-so clever mind during the day so enrolling her in a prestigious preschool with an exemplary teaching program seems the next logical step. Unfortunately, my surprisingly overprotective and somewhat anxiety ridden nature is essentially preventing me from finding any school “good” enough (i.e. I’m looking for what I like to call hard-core preschool jail)

reality check

In my recent search for preschool jail I’ve been reminded of my pre child ways of thinking; like my kids will go to “day care”, reality check – no one but the grandmothers have ever babysat, ever.

My kid will not eat sugar (seriously??)

My kid will not watch tv (this was a good one…)

My kid will use their manners (May you, can you, BUY ME THAT DRESS NOW!!!)

My kid will sleep in their own bed, every night (whatever)

And whatever reminisce of a sensible logical routine I had going with the first one was totally thrown out the window when the second one showed up.

So this is motherhood. I didn’t see this chapter in What to Expect… Boom.