real men do yoga in the wee hours of the morning, before work, wearing all white.
me “you guys wanna watch Moby Dick?”
W “no, I wanna watch My Little Pony Dick”
real men carry the groceries in for their ladies. all at one time. every single bag. one trip. boom. then they ruin it by saying something stupid like “make me dinner woman”. but mine doesn’t do that because for 1, he knows all I bought was junk food anyway and for 2, I don’t know how to cook so anything I made would likely make him vomit, or at least feel very ill. lucky guy.
Bedtime Games is one of the most serious and intense games out there for parents and children to participate in. My advice is Pregame Hard. Play with caution. Play with integrity. Play to win. And most of all, stay strong my fellow parents – stay strong to fight another day.
a list pf passive aggressive shit my kids say & do
So you know how after you get your eyebrows waxed they usually pluck a little leftover hairs out? And then sometimes the person tries to pull a fast one and starts plucking your mustache? — oh thats never happened to you? Oh, yea of course not. Me either. Totally not me, I was just like […]
I just joined crossfit and am wondering what was I really thinking…
My Friday night consisted of staying up wayyyy past my bedtime and being pantless. From an outsiders perspective I could see how that could be interpreted as fun but let me assure you, no part of my evening was fun. Ok well the part where C kept gagging was a little bit hilarious and I […]
Sometimes I call my mom and ask her if my kids are normal. I wonder if that’s normal. I would look on the internet but I’ve learned my lesson far too many times from doing that. The more recent child weirdness I’ve experienced is them making up their own shady games. I don’t get these […]
the unsanitary surprises you discover baking with children