Tag Archives: sickness

sickling

Posted on by

My Friday night consisted of staying up wayyyy past my bedtime and being pantless. From an outsiders perspective I could see how that could be interpreted as fun but let me assure you, no part of my evening was fun. Ok well the part where C kept gagging was a little bit hilarious and I did drink a lot but it was Friday – TGIF.

Anyway the real story on why I was pantless was O got the vomits and it was bad. It started in my car, while I was driving.
That’s always a challenge – where to safely pull over? what to do with the mess? Panic mode. Cue gag reflex. I ended up using her clothes to wipe the carseat down as best I could and stuck her in W’s snowsuit. The whole car was just destroyed. It went everywhere.

I’m yelling “in the bag!” and W’s yelling “O, stop it! Your going to make me throw up!” and O’s yelling “I can’t stop!” It was very traumatic for all of us we were all crying and gagging and suffering.

About last night though, I thought for sure I was in the clear after that car episode. I had already cleaned the car, all the clothes, stuck O in the bath and changed my clothes, mostly because I just felt disgusting. Laid O on the couch and gave her and W popsicles, and then O perked up. She seemed better, she said she was hungry. In retrospect that was probably where I screwed myself but what do I know. So I made her dinner, and dessert of course. Chicken soup and an ice cream sandwich, and lots of crackers – and apparently she drank like a freaking gallon of water.

O fell asleep on the couch around 8.

C and I watched a few episodes of Arrow and I ended up carrying her into the bedroom with me around 10. We are a season behind everyone on Arrow so don’t tell me what happens.

I initially fell asleep easily, only to be assaulted by hot human vomit, partially digested Campbell’s Darth Vader noodles smacking me directly in my face. I sat up immediately in shock, familiar with the awful sound of human vomit expulsion, but also confused from being so abruptly shaken from a deep sleep, I was literally just on a picnic with Justin Bieber and Adam Sandler had brought fried chicken – so I was like really freaking disoriented and had that pins and needles feeling while trying to figure out where the hell I really was and what the F I should actually be doing.

Meanwhile O the human vomit hose was just expelling from her face in whichever direction I pointed her, I had no lights but I assume it was very similar to the infamous pea soup exorcist scene. As I mentioned the first explosion apparently went upward and then back downward all over us, I grabbed her up and hung her over the bed while simultaneously crawling through a warm pool of chunky liquid. No clue why I hung her over the bed, that was so stupid. She sprayed the wall and got the entire floor on her side of the bed really well, when my foot hit the floor I felt the heave of my gut while tender noodles squished up between my toes. Her head then started spinning in circles while she was screaming in latin! Just kidding, but she did spray the bathroom door, the bathroom floor and the glass shower door before I could get her over the toilet. Then I stood there debating whether or not to wake up C…

Oh hell yes. I stripped the bed while he cleaned the floor. He doesn’t handle vomit. He gags and retches like a little pussy. At least I was entertained while I was pulling layers off soaked linens the bed. What do you do? It sucks so bad. It smelled so bad. Preschool vomit is totally like real human vomit. Baby vomit isn’t even called vomit, it’s called “spit-up” because its from a baby and I guess that’s cuter than straight vomit. Our dog Lady throws up all the time because she has an internet-diagnosed eating disorder but I don’t even call that vomit, I refer to that as Barf, I think because it sound like “bark” and dogs bark so its one of those weird association things I guess…  The very worst dog barf I ever clean was when Lady ate an entire zucchini bunt cake I made for Easter. She ate the entire cake and barfed excessively all over my bedroom. That was even worse than the time she ate rocks, or the time she ate a bag of rotten chicken necks of the pier, even worse then the blanket, the carpet, and all the other inedible objects she has consumed then expelled.
The worst part of all this is W will be next. I saw them sharing their popsicles and another time I saw them sharing drinks, I wanted to yell and scream but whats the point? It was already done. She has been exposed. I am in for more. I’m sad.

wondering stuff

Posted on by

1

Do you ever wonder about very deep, random stuff? The existence of man and the depths of the universe? There is such small small small stuff, like an atom and then such large large large concepts like a galaxy. It’s hard for my small mind to wrap around. I’m usually so busy with the really important shit in my own world, like oh damn I have to cook dinner again, when will this ever end? I don’t often have time to just wonder about stuff, plus it creeps me out real bad.

O mentioned something to me today in the car and it made me remember a concept I spent a lot of time thinking about in my younger days, she said something like “oh look the grass is green again” or something to that effect and it made me curious if she was seeing the same colors I was. As well as briefly wonder, what was the color of the grass before it became green again?

It’s one of those mind *uck’s man will never, I will never understand. Scientists probably tested this stuff long ago and I am just behind the times. But if people can be color blind and not even know it then there has to be a chance I see green and someone else sees blue but we are trained to recognize our colors to be called what they are. Is this even a thing? Can this be possible? Am I high right now? Maybe. I do feel a bit jittery and feverish. As I even started typing this for absolutely no purpose but because I have been really MIA lately on the blog all these things keep popping in my head, like what about instincts, what the fuck are those? How do we have instincts still? And how am I sick right now, this is total bullshit. How can I be sick and people walking on the damn moon? It’s not right, seriously.

strep

Posted on by

Apparently strep throat is spreading like wild fire in Jacksonville, FL and in my house.

Here’s a link in case you have family and want to tell them to stay indoors for fear of the “strep”.

http://www.news4jax.com/health/whats-going-around/strep-throat-is-still-going-around/31983248

I haven’t had strep in years, like many many years. Probably since I was in school and I don’t remember it being this awful. The worst part is my kids had it first so while they were crying and writhing in agony I was simply pumping them full of fluids and medication, oblivious to the fiery licks of pain they were enduring in their tiny little throats. Now I am suffering the wrath of strep and literally am incapacitated. It’s like my throat is melting from the inside out and I am sucking cough drops and drinking hot tea like a frenzied animal.

Screw you strep throat. I hate you.

And C is so scared. He knows he’s on Strep’s hit list. He went out and bought 3 cans of Lysol and has been dousing the house frequently. Like that will save his soul. The odds are against him, I hate to say it. Although I’m rooting for him. Hopefully he makes it out alive, he is the worst patient. He won’t even sit next to me on the couch. Maybe I will at least lose some weight out of this torture because that’s what it is. Total Effing Torture. If I had enemies I would cough on them. It’s that bad.

It started out in such an odd manor too. O came home from school complaining that her teacher gave her hot soup that burned her throat. I know, sad right? But I thought it was odd she burned her throat and not her mouth so we asked if her mouth was ok and she said it was fine. Sign #1. doom.

Then in the middle of the night O woke up screaming in terror shriveling away from both C and I – in utter terror! It was awful. She was so hot she was hallucinating – she said we had masks on us and she didn’t know it was us. She was totally freaking me out. Sign #2. gloom.

It was all downhill from there, more fever, loss of taste of food, more fever, W then started with the fevers so we ended up going to Urgent Care Sunday because that’s a great time to go. Positive strep tests led to antibiotics, popsicles and excessive amounts of chicken soup. Or actually excessive popsicles and no chicken soup but I try to get them to eat healthy. Half way through the week cold symptoms started and the girls ended up with viruses on top of the strep. Because I can handle all that is dished out to me. (that’s what I keep telling myself at least)

I literally wanted to go back to work that’s how bad it was. Interrupted sleep, crying, fevers, diarrhea – it was like a week of a sickness hell bender.

By Thursday both girls were finally well enough to attend school the next day, Friday. Yet by some act of mother freaking nature it snowed so I got stuck in the house one more day. It was the ultimate test to my sanity.

I ended up having a wonderful sickness free weekend though. Happy children, productive activities – even went to NY Sunday for a fabulous Network workshop for the CW before I was struck down by the hand of the strep devil. Now I sit here typing in front of a heater fantasizing about chicken broth, Afrin and my heating pad.