I have a problem; acknowledgement is the first step so I’ve heard. I’ve been conditioned by a big box retailer and I know I’m not the only one. I mean, I’ve seen E-Cards on Pinterest that tout the same phenomenon so it must be an epidemic if it’s made it to an E-Card. We’re talking Target here if you haven’t guessed yet. It’s a quintessential black hole. There is something magical (and by that I mean illegal) pumping out of their ventilation system. I’m convinced of this because no matter how much I tell myself I’m not there to “shop” but to merely restock the toilet paper I inevitably end up redecorating a room in my house by the time I leave, which by the way is usually an easy 5 hours later. How do they do it? They just suck you in, that innocent red and white circle thing beckoning to you from the side of the highway… It reminds me of that all-seeing eye from Lord of the Rings. How can I be so focused on picking up cat litter one minute and the next be totally obsessed, and convinced I need curtains? I can’t even let myself shop there, no self control, it’s depressing! For example, last winter I bought a bikini, I was 8 months pregnant. Who does that?

Things included in my last excursion include; an oversized bean bag (seemed like a good idea at the time) new collar for my dog (WTF??) sunglasses (ehhh) an iPhone wallet (which I haven’t even used!!!) diapers (okay this is totally legit) a topiary (who doesn’t need fake potted grass?)

The only way I am able to curb my spending these days is to totally avoid Target.

Dearest Target, (after today) – wait, let me explain – Easter is this weekend and I NEED some stuff for the girls baskets, but that’s it though, after today our relationship is over. I’m kicking you to the curb, and theres no hard feelings for potentially exposing my credit card information to hackers. But I am done wasting money on you. Don’t call me. Seriously though – don’t call. GoodBye.