werking out

I got 99 problems and hopefully all the fat related ones will start shrinking now that I’ve bit the bullet and joined Cross Fit. Yay ME! (feel free to say that in a very sarcastic tone)

What!? You scream in disbelief. Girl, you crazy. I hear you thinking. Yes my friends, I have truly lost my ever loving marbles. I just had my first class tonight and I am very happy to say I survived. It was a bit less traumatic than that time I started Insanity but then again I didn’t have a room full of cross fitters staring at me doing Insanity either.

I’m not going to lie and say it was fun or easy or awesome or anything remotely pleasant because lets be real here people – who likes working out? Ok, besides all the people who were just in that Cross Fit class I was in, who all appeared to oddly enough reallllly like working out. Though to be fair, I probably appeared to be having a grand time with that stupefied shit eating grin I was sporting the entire time. What other facial expression should you have in a room full of strangers that your squatting in front of?

So I’m starting small. If I can finish his week I will feel so proud of myself. Then I may aim for a month r something. Hopefully my interest won’t sputter out like with everything else exercise related. Maybe I will get to post one of those before after pictures in like a month when I get all jacked. How cool would that be. While surfing for a cool cross fit photo to use on this blog post I found a pregnant woman squatting and I promise you even she was more fit and capable than I am.

Lets review some reasons I despise working out:

  1. um, its hard duh
  2. afterward I not only look, but also feel like Jello
  3. it forces me to wash my hair more often, so lame
  4. rigormortis sets in for a few days
  5. takes up like all my tv time
  6. makes me hungrier, kinda defeating the purpose here
  7. makes me sleep like a dead person, hopefully we don’t have a fire tonight
  8. makes me sweaty which is unbecoming
  9. sometimes I pee my pants doing jumping jacks, I wish I were kidding
  10. takes me away from my family duties, oh ha that one goes on the pro side

The good news is they didn’t ask me what my goals were! I was terrified they were going to ask me what my goals were and luckily I didn’t have to make something up on the spot. I do need to think that one through though because if history is any indication of what kind of stupid shit will fly out of my mouth on the spot…. yikes, I don’t want to have to quit before I even technically join.

Oh and that post picture, sorry but really how could I not? Now nude cross fit would put a whole new spin on things. I would totally watch that. Could be dangerous though for men…

barre

I’m not a runner. Or a swimmer, or a weight-lifter, body-pumepr, jazzerciser, zumba dancer… you get the point. But I do have constant disgust and guilt about not doing any types of physical activity. Especially when I wake up in the morning and my bones hurt and I’m stiff and arthritic. It’s depressing. So last year I tried Insanity and it was total torture and I hated every second of it.

This year I finally got around to trying Barre. I’ve been wanting to do it for like – ever. There is a studio down the street from where I was working last summer and when I would walk to Subway on sunny days for lunch I would sit and chew my pickles and stare longingly with all the rest of the pervs eating lunch – at a perfectly sculpted female buttox in the studio window. I would daydream about rocking a thong that summer on family vacation… just kidding. My kids would be like, uh your butt is hanging out mommy, grossss.

So anyway – ironically there is a studio by my house and my awesome MIL bought me some sessions for xmas, SCORE>>>>

Unfortunately, they don’t watch kids so it’s like impossible to ever go but when I do get there I actually enjoy it and have fun. I can’t walk the next day but I feel proud.

I found this picture online and sent it to my friend and C to show them how painful it was in class.

The irony is I was like “I’m the girl dying” and they were both like, “oh, in blue??”

“No guys. This is not a real picture and that is not really me.”

Guess the joke was on me that I picked a photo with someone who actually did look like me.

Co-owner Emily Easton, far right, and studio manager Danielle DeRemer, second from right, share a laugh during the Align Barre Class at Align Pilates in Uptown December 7, 2011.  (Courtney Perry/Special to the Star Tribune)