Tag Archives: humor

exasperation

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“Mommy, why are you making that face?” Because I am losing my marbles.

Mostly, I try to shake the small stuff, like my need for order, cleanliness, arriving on time for once – anywhere, putting on makeup, brushing my hair, ok – just general personal hygiene, getting out of my pajamas, making my children wear clothes, getting the dogs outside before they can’t hold it anymore, getting my kids to the toilet before they can’t hold it anymore, getting to the toilet before I can’t – ok this just got weird.

Anyway, my point is everywhere I look stuff just isn’t right and I feel like I have really grown as a person because I resort to taking pictures instead of totally flipping my shit. It doesn’t do any good anymore and if the baby craps on the floor once in a while because she won’t wear pants then I guess that’s what steam cleaners are for, right? Um, BTW Bissell is much stronger than Rug doctor in my personal experience and I have A LOT of experience.

IMG_1966  figure 1. using all my clean dishtowels as a bridge across the floor covered in dog hair.

IMG_1970 my flock enjoying individual dirt baths in my garden. bye bye new seeds I just planted. We will clearly not be harvesting any spinach or broccoli.

IMG_1967 this is just a simple picture of my cat scaring about 5 years off my life when I got down on all fours to reach a ball that rolled under the bed. I look up to this nose right in my face. Not even sure why it scared me so bad.

waverly

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We took Wave to her first audition. It ended up not being her thing but that’s ok. She used to be so outgoing but recently she is going through this shyness phase. Maybe we will try again in a few months if something comes up but for now she’s not interested in the lime light, at least the public one.

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i <3 NY

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December 3, 2014. The real Lois and Cass adventure began.

Rose invited me to go to NY for an acting workshop with her. I have never been to NY but have always wanted to go. There was never any reason for me to go before so with a real legitimate purpose I was ecstatic. We took the train up and it was only like a little over two hours, so surreal.

We got on the train and sat down and started yapping away to realize we were on the quiet car, as the lady next to us so kindly told us.

We walked so much that my calves were actually sore the next day. I wish I had wore my Fitbit. It probably would have blown up. It’s a wonder all New Yorkers aren’t skinny – or maybe they are.

It didn’t even feel like NY, it felt like Baltimore to me. Until we saw the view from a rooftop bar. WOW. We ran around took a cab a few places, ate some sushi, then ran around some more places, had a mini photo shoot – see me as a coach model. Then we ate some hamburgers and went to our workshop.

So awesome.

Totally bombed the workshop, I was off book and was so excited to be there – obviously because the teacher said I had a “perma-smile”, which is some trendy way of telling me I was way too excited to be there reading in that room. Totally true. But whateves.

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stubs

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Oh. My. Goodness.

I just got direct cast in my first short film and I am SO EXCITED. A guy in my theatre class is filming it and asked me to play the wife! It will be called STUBS. I will post more as it becomes available.

I can totally pull off mom/wife. I will be washing dishes and making a frozen pizza, I mean this role is made for me. I am SO good at washing dishes and making frozen food. Eeeek! Can’t. Wait. I hope I get to yell at some kids or something, maybe throw a plate against the wall! That would be so dramatic.

things just got real

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I just got accepted into my first principal database by a known local casting director. I am on cloud nine right now. I don’t know the significance of that saying but I know it’s supposed to be very awesome and I feel very awesome right now.

I auditioned for this office back and January and never got a call back. So I knew I sucked. That is actually why I decided to do the Improv and the Theatre classes. Guess it has finally paid off! Now if I could just book a gig…

I performed the monologue I studied in class at MET during the summer session. I even got real tears going! It felt good!

So now when (ahem – speaking) roles become available for ladies with my stats I will be emailed to go audition. I can’t wait!!!!

Ensemble Theatre

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I hate theatre, harsh I know. I thought it was cheesy and who in the duck can memorize an entire script anyway? But this is my year of trying new things and getting out of my comfort zone so I signed up for an adult acting class at the community theatre.

Class one was cool. There was about 7 people in the first class and I warmed up pretty fast. We did some emotional exercises and some warm ups but all together it set up a good feel for what was to come.

Class two on the other hand was a bit more surprising, about 12 people showed up. All races, ages and mixes. A real melting pot, which is cool. Class started like normal –a warm up to get our creative and emotional juices flowing, we had to circle around passing the emotion. Then came the weird stuff…

We were given a monologue directory at the end of the first class and were told to at least memorize the first sentence of a choice monologue. We then performed the first sentence of our monologue whilst thrusting different emotions from our hips. Imagine dry humping the air with your hips and hands, palms up. (I know my mom will eventually be reading this and probably seriously reconsider sending my kid brother there for any form of drama camp but it isn’t as bad as it sounds.) It actually, surprisingly made a lot of sense. We did a 10 count of thrusting – counting, then we made some weird noise while doing it, then we said our line. We did, happy, sad and angry. It made you try the line in different emotions and stop thinking about what you were saying and just go with it. It did make for an awkward conversation when I got home and C asked me what I did in class…

Just go with it. If I can dry hump my way through my monologue in front of a live audience, what else am I capable of?

improv 101

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Improv 101 is over. What an amazing opportunity. I’m so glad that I bit the bullet and got out of my comfort zone and did something like that. While I find myself personally hilarious I would never suggest that I am by any means skillfully funny. Although from what I learned in class, and read on improv-haters blogs, improv is not supposed to be funny. Huh, who knew?! Anyway it’s totally helped me with off the cuff and public speaking work-wise so brownie points.

Leading up to my last class, or the “showcase’ was weird. The “what if’s” were in full force, “what if I say something disturbing”, “what if I go-up”, “what if I pee my pants”, “what if everyone thinks I suck balls”. Then all would be cool and I wouldn’t stress a bit. Then I would get back all in my own head and have all these crazy thoughts swirling around and little voices taunting me. I know, so freaking nuts. It’s an artistic brain or something, I read about artists being sensitive and weird all the time. But then our teacher sent us this guy Jimmy Carrane’s Blog called Improv Nerd.

It. Was. Life changing.

Not because he’s this great improver or hilarious, which he may very well be – but it was how he articulated pre show nerves and the range of emotions he would feel before and after a performance. He claims to have all kinds of emotional anxiety and maybe that’s why I related so much but it gave me the courage to get out of my own head and pretend to feel confident. And I did. And the show was awesome. And apparently I was always the mad, angry or yelling character, which maybe leads me to think maybe improv is my outlet for repressed emotional anger. That’s deep.

I love summer

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It’s been so long since I’ve blogged. I often think about doing it but just haven’t had the time. It’ mostly because I love summer. The days are longer and there is so many more options to do stuff other than sit in front of a computer. And I have been doing so much recently. Here is a mini update on my kind of exciting life;

I finished my improv class. What a success!

I signed up for an acting on camera class. This has been a rollercoaster class, it’s on Saturdays and I’m alllllways late, arriving disheveled and stressed. But it’s great to practice on camera and I do get to see myself on the silver screen!

I also signed up for an acting class. Guess if I am going to continue to go on these auditions I should, oh I don’t know, learn the basics? I have taken a hiatus from submitting for auditions to work on this script analysis class. The first class was also a success! Woo-hoo me.

I have a recent and almost disturbing obsession with thinking about refurbishing furniture purchased from off craigslist. I have made 3 large furniture purchases from craigslist in the past two weeks and cannot stop myself from stalking the site every day for more.

I have moved on from the days spent on frivolous Target purchases to become a compulsive Amazon Prime shopper. They lured me in with the 30 day free trial and I am smitten. I love when I run out of something these days because I just hop on amazon and wham, bam, than you ma’am it’s delivered to my door step within 3 days. It’s so exciting seeing boxes on my door step awaiting my arrival home. What is it, what is it?! Oh, it’s the vacuum bags I ordered. Fun!

its tuesday

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camping-la-bella-vista

Yay for Tuesday. So close to Friday, yet so far. This is a nice big holiday weekend coming up and we are going camping. I love camping, the girls love camping, and even C loves camping. We have a big group going too so there is sure to be endless entertainment of the cheap and disturbing kind. I feel so close to nature sleeping out in the woods and sitting next to a campfire for umpteen hours drinking beer. While our version of camping is probably slightly different than most because it involves a travel trailer complete with a flat screen tv, full shower, toilet, microwave, heating and A/C we do park it at a campground so it is technically called “camping”. We originally invested in a small Wolf Pack toy hauler which is a travel trailer you tow behind a truck. A toy hauler is where the backdoor comes down like a ramp and men can drive their “toys” up in it. We’ve carried small boats and golf carts but often people carry motorcycles and ATVs. Our Wolf Pack was such a delight we upgraded to a Fifth Wheel toy hauler. One of those big suckers that have to hook into the bed of the truck. That was the worst mistake ever. It was an amazing condo like trailer that could sleep like 27 people and got us about 9 miles to the gallon. That hurt driving up and down the coast to the beach. This year we did an even swap with that fifth wheel and got something midgrade in size. It is awesome. I can’t wait to enjoy copious amounts of adult beverages and too many s’mores. My agenda includes parking my butt in a lawn chair and watching my kids play with sticks and rocks for three days straight.