I’m so behind on posting, not that anyone really cares, but I’ve been working, yay! It’s like I’m almost a working actress, but “working” is a term I use loosely, like very loosely. Image a person who has a full … Continue reading
catch up
Tag Archives: humor
meeting agents
Agents and managers are people, believe it or not, they want your child to succeed in this business. But remember the bottom line, it’s a business so they also want to make money. This interview is a chance for them … Continue reading
chanting
My kids have been chanting a lot lately and its bugging me out. I try not to worry too much whether my kids are weird or normal or whatever because, let’s face it – the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree and the forest in this case has a lot of… let’s say character. I don’t know if that made any sense at all, that metaphor just got a bit off track I think. Anyway so back to the point, I literally caught the girls on tape this morning having a chant-fest, I was eating breakfast when I heard these tiny rhythmic voices saying “circle him“, wondering what the H E double hockey sticks kind of demonic game they were playing that would require them to chant “circle him, circle him” I grabbed my cell phone like any sane millennial mom and started rolling the video…
Apparently Captain America was running around pony village like he owned the place reeking havoc and such. So the ponies were all like, ugh no way Captain America your butt is going to jail. Commence ponies circling their intruder like a pack of hungry wolves. I know. It’s not an ordinary game but the certainly get points for originality and I am certainly going to screen My Little Pony episodes a bit more often.
real men series 5
real men have large ears which double as handles for their young, very similar to kangaroo pouches for joey’s or giant monkey nipples for tiny baby monkeys to cling to.
#TBT
someone seriously didn’t think this through, or maybe they did and the joke’s on us?
real men series 2
real men do yoga in the wee hours of the morning, before work, wearing all white.
real men series 1
real men carry the groceries in for their ladies. all at one time. every single bag. one trip. boom. then they ruin it by saying something stupid like “make me dinner woman“. but mine doesn’t do that because for 1, he knows all I bought was junk food anyway and for 2, I don’t know how to cook so anything I made would likely make him vomit, or at least feel very ill. lucky guy.
bedtime games
Bedtime Games is one of the most serious and intense games out there for parents and children to participate in. My advice is Pregame Hard. Play with caution. Play with integrity. Play to win. And most of all, stay strong my fellow parents – stay strong to fight another day.
passive aggressive
passive aggressive shit via my kids
- W yells “HAPPY BIRTHDAY” when she’s pissed. Pretty sure thats a big F. U.
- O draws crying stick figures and hearts breaking when she gets in trouble and tapes them all over the house
- W freezes people who get on her bad side with her “stuper powers” a la evil Elsa
- O regularly threatens that I will have to snuggle with the cat if I make her go to bed too early.
she looks snuggley, right? - They literally pick their toys UP OFF THE FLOOR when I tell them to clean up
- W goes through the house shutting and locking all the effing bedroom doors. She knows I hate going up and down the stairs, I am not athletic – it winds me.
- O throws anything she breaks in the trash can so she doesn’t get busted – no matter who’s stuff it is.
- W will poop on the floor if we don’t turn on the bathroom light for her, every time.
For real though. Thats a total knife. I found this picture and the story behind it is right there however I don’t read squiggle line so I don’t know what it says. I’m going to assume this is the result of something C did to make O angry – the fact that it’s in red and furiously squiggly I bet its a horror story. I’ll confirm and follow up. This is juicy – yet terrifying at the same time… to be continued
wax on
So you know how after you get your eyebrows waxed they usually pluck a little leftover hairs out? And then sometimes the person tries to pull a fast one and starts plucking your mustache? — oh thats never happened to you? Oh, yea of course not. Me either. Totally not me, I was just like what if that happened, like what would you do? Ya know? Ha… cuz it would suck so bad… for you if that happened… which it didn’t happen… to me, I mean. Oh my damn.