Tag Archives: fun

passive aggressive

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passive aggressive shit via my kids

  1. W yells “HAPPY BIRTHDAY” when she’s pissed. Pretty sure thats a big F. U.
  2. O draws crying stick figures and hearts breaking when she gets in trouble and tapes them all over the house
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  3. W freezes people who get on her bad side with her “stuper powers” a la evil Elsa
  4. O regularly threatens that I will have to snuggle with the cat if I make her go to bed too early.
    IMG_9993 she looks snuggley, right?
  5. They literally pick their toys UP OFF THE FLOOR when I tell them to clean upIMG_9992
  6. W goes through the house shutting and locking all the effing bedroom doors. She knows I hate going up and down the stairs, I am not athletic – it winds me.
  7. O throws anything she breaks in the trash can so she doesn’t get busted – no matter who’s stuff it is.
  8. W will poop on the floor if we don’t turn on the bathroom light for her, every time.

For real though. Thats a total knife. I found this picture and the story behind it is right there however I don’t read squiggle line so I don’t know what it says. I’m going to assume this is the result of something C did to make O angry – the fact that it’s in red and furiously squiggly I bet its a horror story. I’ll confirm and follow up. This is juicy – yet terrifying at the same time… to be continued

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candy necklaces

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Home made candy necklace, or bracelet. Remember candy necklaces? My kids don’t because we are sugar free. We are also grain free, hormone free, glucose free, pesticide free, vegetable free, meat free and least but not least sanity free. Just kidding. But seriously who eats holes through their food. She doesn’t eat like a normal human but more like a caterpillar.

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trouble

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Dearest Cousin (you know who you are),

I am both excited and terrified for your upcoming wedding. I know it will be the most amazing, memorable night of your life, it’s after all every girls dream to have a wedding with family and friends, a gorgeous gown, a loving night full of dreams and happy endings. However, I am genuinely scared O may not comprehend this is not her wedding, she talks nonstop about her wedding and her wedding dress and the party and flowers and how excited she is to be having her wedding.

Maybe there is a book on this topic. Like you can buy books on how “every body uses the potty” (oh, which reminds me O wrote a book specifically on this topic) or you can buy books about when your family pet dies and goes to animal heaven. I need to purchase the How to teach your 4 year old she is part of a wedding, but it’s not her wedding. Ugh, I hate to be the bearer of bad news.

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Then there is W. Look at that face. It just screamsssss trouble, it may not scream it in an articulate manner in which you the recipient would understand, but you would get the point.

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They are both so excited for “their” wedding and ask me nonstop when their going to have it.

shadow box

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I was reading this blog a while back I found on Pinterest (shocker) and this lady had made these shadow boxes for her kids that were super freaking cute. Like so cute I went to Michael’s and bought a bunch of miscellaneous crap without the slightest plan, rhyme or reason. Just a wild hair. That is the story of my life, I will randomly see something and become so inspired that I spend every waking hour obsessing over it until I get it out of my system. It’s like these little spastic fits of creativity and motivation in between long spans of boredom and laziness.

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Okay – I am finally back. You guys don’t know this but I just got sucked into the black hole of Pinterest. I went to go find the image above because it was such a perfect and accurate representation of how my stupid brain works. Anyway I started reading all the other hilarious quotes I’ve posted and started laughing thinking I could totally make a blog post about funny quotes – oh snap, wait I am working on a blog post right now, that’s right I logged in here for a reason, back on track. Boom.

Anywho, back to the boxes… I had to look through my pictures and pick out a theme. I picked pink for O because everything I purchased and received for my first girl was pink.

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Look at that tiny little thing. I don’t remember anything about the hospital stay from my first child. I was on so many drugs and tranquilizers it was all a blur so it’s nice to see pictures of what actually happened. Apparently my parents visited.   baby 12-23-10 264 Look how sexy my ma is. She’s a G-MILF.

baby 12-23-10 329 Christmas Day, bringing the new baby home. We stopped to pick up our furbabies at C’s parents house.

oakley 2 oakley 3 oakley 5 Dude. Look at this kid. Made for the camera.

IMG_2387 - Copy O’s Box. Aunt Lauren hand made that hat for her and she wore it a lot too because her head was like 90th percentile (trust me on this it felt that way coming out) and this hat stretched real nice. I wrapped that letter O with yarn too for a splash of texture. I also glued all the stuff in there with a glue gun. The blog I read said some people tacked their stuff in there so it didn’t get ruined but her perspective was it was now art and wasn’t going to be wore again. I agreed and glued my shit in there too.

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W was different. I didn’t do all pink with her from the beginning but I did do a lot of animal print.

IMG_2873 Us bringing this small fry home. Obviously I was eating tacos and taking drugs because I see wraps on the table and the medicine cabinet is open in the background.

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My brother took these adorable pictures of the girls. So sweet.

phone 051 Look at that little face. Almost makes me want another one…

Ha just kidding it doesn’t.

IMG_2388 Her little box is pink too but a bit more funky. O was always classic, W seems a bit more brave and wild. Second child thing, self fulfilling prophecy – guess I will never know.