isn’t this yours? I found it on the newsletter board at the kids preschool!!!!! (it was his, and it was a $25 lightbulb) Lady pooped in the middle of the driveway AGAIN Oh My God! Seriously, WTF happened to Renee … Continue reading
my texts to C
Tag Archives: babies
catch up
I’m so behind on posting, not that anyone really cares, but I’ve been working, yay! It’s like I’m almost a working actress, but “working” is a term I use loosely, like very loosely. Image a person who has a full … Continue reading
passive aggressive
passive aggressive shit via my kids
- W yells “HAPPY BIRTHDAY” when she’s pissed. Pretty sure thats a big F. U.
- O draws crying stick figures and hearts breaking when she gets in trouble and tapes them all over the house
- W freezes people who get on her bad side with her “stuper powers” a la evil Elsa
- O regularly threatens that I will have to snuggle with the cat if I make her go to bed too early.
she looks snuggley, right? - They literally pick their toys UP OFF THE FLOOR when I tell them to clean up
- W goes through the house shutting and locking all the effing bedroom doors. She knows I hate going up and down the stairs, I am not athletic – it winds me.
- O throws anything she breaks in the trash can so she doesn’t get busted – no matter who’s stuff it is.
- W will poop on the floor if we don’t turn on the bathroom light for her, every time.
For real though. Thats a total knife. I found this picture and the story behind it is right there however I don’t read squiggle line so I don’t know what it says. I’m going to assume this is the result of something C did to make O angry – the fact that it’s in red and furiously squiggly I bet its a horror story. I’ll confirm and follow up. This is juicy – yet terrifying at the same time… to be continued
pfizer
O just wrapped her first big time commercial.
It was probably the biggest one she has done so far in terms of competition and work involved on her part. Her BandAid commercial ended up being really big but it was nonunion to start so none of the union pros were able to audition. This commercial was a union job so all the union kids auditioned in addition to any nonunion kids. She had a couple solid lines and a principal role in the shoot.
I must admit I was nervous, we go on these auditions and typically the odds are so stacked against you that you leave and don’t think much more about it. (ok, well that’s such a lie because I think about it every day until I hear it books!)
I took her to the first audition, also called first round/call. We had just been to the same casting office a week or so earlier for a different huge casting (20 kids for a school class) which I was sure she would have booked but alas I will never know what casting is looking for. She did get a callback for that one too but ended up not booking! Bummer.
I will never understand this business and as much as I retrospectively analyze each experience it never paints a clear picture. We arrived on time and hung out in the waiting room. The casting director came out and informed all us moms there were lines for the audition so we all scrambled to get our kids prepped last minute. Usually we get the script ahead of time to practice but this was only a one-liner so it was no big deal. O ran lines a couple times then was called back and skipped her way into the audition room. But when she came out O came out with this look of sadness on her face I was immediately in mad-mom mode wondering what these people said to her.
“what happened, what’s wrong?” she informed me that casting asked her to do other lines that weren’t for her age. LOL. Good thing? Bad thing? One will never know. Except I did learn during the shoot the client thought O was hilarious because she apparently told casting in the audition “those aren’t my lines“. And she was right. And they loved her ‘tude I guess.
Then the callback audition.
This was awful timing for me and C so Grandmom ventured out this time. All was smooth sailing and O said she had fun and did a few more new lines.
O then got a “hold” placed on her, which is when they want specific kids to be available to them while they figure out which one they will use for the shoot.
When we got the booking call I was nervous and excited.
It’s a lot of pressure wondering how O will be feeling the day of the shoot, if she will be into it or pick that day to decide she’s over this whole “acting” thing.
To top it off O woke up with pink eye two days before the shoot. I was FREAKING. Luckily I treated her with medication I had and it went away pretty quick but she totally woke up full blown sick sick sick the day after the shoot. I did learn a little stress reliever while on set – union gigs always book a back up kid in case things don’t work out with the first pick. PHEW. There were two for O’s role, two for her fake older brothers role and two sets of twins for the baby sister role! That was crazy because all the babies were cranky too. The very last baby of the four ended up working out for the shot.
She cracks me up with these roles. Whenever she gets off book for an audition she always incorporates new language from the audition or the characters name into daily play with her sister. She did a voicover audition for a fairy role and had t say “whoopsie-doodle”. Now her and W say “Whoopsi-doodle” all the time. And she makes us call her by her character name all the time too. Maybe she is a method actor? har har.
The shoot ended up going great. It was a lot of work for her but she nailed it. It should air in February – I will be sure to post it 1 million times everywhere I can as soon as I get my hands on it.
shadow box
I was reading this blog a while back I found on Pinterest (shocker) and this lady had made these shadow boxes for her kids that were super freaking cute. Like so cute I went to Michael’s and bought a bunch of miscellaneous crap without the slightest plan, rhyme or reason. Just a wild hair. That is the story of my life, I will randomly see something and become so inspired that I spend every waking hour obsessing over it until I get it out of my system. It’s like these little spastic fits of creativity and motivation in between long spans of boredom and laziness.
Okay – I am finally back. You guys don’t know this but I just got sucked into the black hole of Pinterest. I went to go find the image above because it was such a perfect and accurate representation of how my stupid brain works. Anyway I started reading all the other hilarious quotes I’ve posted and started laughing thinking I could totally make a blog post about funny quotes – oh snap, wait I am working on a blog post right now, that’s right I logged in here for a reason, back on track. Boom.
Anywho, back to the boxes… I had to look through my pictures and pick out a theme. I picked pink for O because everything I purchased and received for my first girl was pink.
Look at that tiny little thing. I don’t remember anything about the hospital stay from my first child. I was on so many drugs and tranquilizers it was all a blur so it’s nice to see pictures of what actually happened. Apparently my parents visited. 
Look how sexy my ma is. She’s a G-MILF.
Christmas Day, bringing the new baby home. We stopped to pick up our furbabies at C’s parents house.
Dude. Look at this kid. Made for the camera.
O’s Box. Aunt Lauren hand made that hat for her and she wore it a lot too because her head was like 90th percentile (trust me on this it felt that way coming out) and this hat stretched real nice. I wrapped that letter O with yarn too for a splash of texture. I also glued all the stuff in there with a glue gun. The blog I read said some people tacked their stuff in there so it didn’t get ruined but her perspective was it was now art and wasn’t going to be wore again. I agreed and glued my shit in there too.
W was different. I didn’t do all pink with her from the beginning but I did do a lot of animal print.
Us bringing this small fry home. Obviously I was eating tacos and taking drugs because I see wraps on the table and the medicine cabinet is open in the background.
My brother took these adorable pictures of the girls. So sweet.
Look at that little face. Almost makes me want another one…
Ha just kidding it doesn’t.
Her little box is pink too but a bit more funky. O was always classic, W seems a bit more brave and wild. Second child thing, self fulfilling prophecy – guess I will never know.
wild nursery
Remember how I said I went through a psychotic pregnancy paint spree?
Well, I wasn’t kidding. I wanted to do something really wild with the baby nursery. This was the first of the projects I stared and I must have been about 5 months preg because I wanted it gender neutral.
I wanted to use stuff I already had on hand and since this room was very jungle-ish already I decided to go with it. This room was really just a catch-all for all the misfit furniture that did’t belong anywhere else in the house.
We had 2 large artificial palm trees, huge Pier 1 metal mother and baby giraffe statues and a queen size bed.
Jungle it is. I went with animal prints. Giraffe’s – obviously and Zebra.
My little helper.I taped and painted the walls a base color for my animal prints.
always in our underwear in this house, except me. I wear clothes all the time.
Boom. That is trippy, right? I freehand taped all the spots. C said it doesn;t look like Giraffe colors but I thought it did.
Got this little guy at a Kids Nearly New sale for $15! Sometimes it does pay to be late to everything! Nobody wants to pack this back up in their car after a long day at the yard sale!
so niiiiice.
we went back and forth with baby W’s name forevvvveeeeer. I got antsy and started painting random names anyway.
Got all the letters from Michael’s. I was so freaking mad too because I went like three different times for the letter E. I hand painted all the letters too. I liked the Carters sheet and blanket set Jungle Jill – or something, I can’t remember the name exactly but pretty sure it was that. I don’t buy the whole bedding shebang since babies aren’t supposed to have anything in the crib. But I got the sheet, the baby blanket (the super soft one not the quilt) and a wall sticker and plaque. The plaque was dumb and it was a total waste and the sticker was kind of lame too but oh well. I ended up coordinating the baby name, letters to the sticker.
Oh, yea – in case you didn’t notice we went with a different name. No matter! I love painting apparently!
I made like 60 thousand holes in the wall trying to get these letters hung. Thanks to my handy laser level the look pretty damn close to level. I had them on the giraffe wall but was scared they would fall off the wall in the middle of the night and hit the baby so I relocated them to above the window.
Here is the zebra wall. This was so annoying. Can you see the face? You either do or you don’t. If you don’t just say you do okay? Never painting this room again EVER.
I had the white crib against the zebra side but my mother said it would scare the baby. And I had bought hot pink frames and wanted to hang them on that side specifically so I moved everything all around and put the crib in the giraffe side.
Hopefully W stays in the crib until she is like 5. But I bought her a bed anyway and put it in O’s room. Once she moves out of here this will be a guest room. Cuz we have guests over like all the time. NOT.
interpretation
I love stories about the funny shit kids do.
Yesterday one of my co-workers was showing me a video of his grandkids singing him happy birthday. Three pretty girls cute as buttons singing away, I don’t recall exact ages but an infant, a four year old and maybe it was a seven year old. Anyway they sing happy birthday and the four year old leans over to the baby and just blows in her face! Of course I busted out laughing and said “what did she do that for??” and my co-worker responds with “oh, she’s breath feeding her”. Apparently she blows in the babies face and thinks she is breast feeding! I love it!. That poor baby is probably like WTF?!
Funny thing is, this story jogged my ever foggy brain and I recalled a similar situation. I searched my computer and found the video I had of O just a couple months over two and her interpretation of me pumping.
I don’t want to post the video because, well let’s face it – she will probably be super-mega famous one day and I don’t want her to hate me for the paparazzi getting a hold of a video of her in the bath as a toddler with her business all showing. So here is a harmless pic of her “pumping”.
What the H E double hockey sticks, right? Probably better that I didn’t post the video because I’m all snorting and laughing like “What are you doing?” and she’s all cool like, “duhhhh mommy – I’m pumping with my bungee.”
HAH. Kids.
playroom
Once upon a time I had a fancy dining room.
It had beautiful beaded curtains and a wall with a bunch of lovely black and white photos and a pretty bar table that would collect large quantities of dust.
Then came baby O. I first relocated the beautiful beaded curtains because they posed a huge strangulation hazard. Then I had to move the bar table into the kitchen because our kitchen table was baby-face level and glass which posed a hole new set of lethal hazards.
Then my dining room sat empty. I discussed it’s playroom potential but C wasn’t convinced and we utilized our bedroom’s sitting room as the playroom. That was great until O’s second birthday when all the kids wanted to play in there and I was uncomfortable since it was technically my bedroom. That’s when I decided to hell with our fancy decor, our lives were over anyway. Might as well accept fate and be comfortable in our own house.
Then I stole C’s favorite couch from his office and convinced C’s mom (grandmom) to make pretty curtains.
Begin transformation playroom….
Oh, I mixed the steps up a bit – I did paint first. This awkward sea foam color. I had a lot left over from the upstairs hallway so I tried to use what I had without having to buy new.
I didn’t like the way it looked like a kindercare so I painted over it wit another color I had – and I hate cutting in so I taped a trim line since I did like the sea foam color.
These are the curtains from Joanne’s that Grandmom fixed up for us. I drove to two different Joanne’s for enough fabric but I really liked it. That’s the cozy couch I stole from C. That couch has seen better days. But it’s nice and low to the ground so when the girls fall off it’s no big deal.
Then I painted the black frames yellow.
I had some of those cubes with the girls toys in them but with all the bright colors I wanted something a bit more formal. I found this great armoir (<- I think I spelled that wrong) anyway, I found it on craigslist for like $100. But the guy wanted it gone asap so I got it for $50! It took forever for me to paint it.
I hate Pinterest BTW. It makes me think I can do all this crafty stuff. Then I buy all the stuff just to figure out I am not so crafty. From afar it looks good – and that is enough for me.
It did not come with that smallish child inside.
Here is the finished result. Not gonna lie – I kinda love it. I reclaimed that coffee table too. Lets see if I can insert that post – it was one of my earlier attempts at entertainment…
https://amberunraveled.wordpress.com/2014/07/31/reclaimed/
I got a little silly and painted some shelves yellow too. And found this little canvas that matched, O sings the song all the time anyway so it had some sentimental value an all (but it mostly matched). I wrapped yarn all around that letter O and then said there was NO WAY I was going to do it again so W got the shaft, as per the norm and I painted her W.
And that’s how we got our cozy playroom. I really like it, it’s functional and gets lots of hours.
waverly
We took Wave to her first audition. It ended up not being her thing but that’s ok. She used to be so outgoing but recently she is going through this shyness phase. Maybe we will try again in a few months if something comes up but for now she’s not interested in the lime light, at least the public one.
call backs – oh snap
We were sitting on the couch talking and doing nothing Sunday evening when I randomly checked my phone’s email and saw that the casting director had emailed me.
oh. snap. O got a call back.
Wow. I couldn’t believe it.
They wanted to see O back for second round auditions the following day on site. C and I told O and she was stoked. I am not sure if she knew what I was even talking about but she was excited because C and I were excited.
I went to work and left early to go pick up O & C. We arrived onsite and hung out in the waiting room with all the other families and their little boys. Hmmm. We were the only family with a little girl.
The producer introduced herself and brought the sign in sheet around and basically was wondering what we were doing there, even though she was so so so nice I’m pretty sure she probably thought we were not supposed to be there. She took a few families back and even paired O up with a nice fake mom and dad that could pass as her parents. We went back to the audition room and I stood outside and watched them do all their scenes. They were in a glass room so it was so cool to see them all performing.
O was so adorable, of course. I even tried to sneak a couple pictures but to be honest I was scared I would get in trouble!
One of the men in the room came out and asked if I was O’s mother. They asked me to run a few scenes to see if O would have more natural reactions with me. It was a pleasure for me so we did our thing and went back to the waiting area.
They asked me a lot of questions about o when I was in there and my gut was telling me they really liked her – but as a mom i was afraid I was reading into it too much.
Then they asked to see O in the pool scene. I updated C on O’s performance and said we were supposed to go get in the pool for another portion of the audition. C noted that many of the other kids had left and there were only a few that stayed for the pool scene. I was a little more excited.
Right before the pool the CD asked to see O with another fake dad, so she went back in and ran a few more scenes. I wanted to be excited but I kept telling myself not to read too much into it. They even asked me to run a few more scenes! I wasn’t even here to audition!!!
Then like that the day was over. Back to reality. We left and went and picked up baby W from Grandmom’s house.