O's favorite things

I’m big into lists right now. I don’t know why. I actually take that back, I have always been big into lists. My entire life is like a giant, never-ending to-do or grocery list. But maybe because the school season is approaching I have started thinking in an even more structured and nonsensical way about everything in my life.

So to go with the theme of lists here are five of O’s favorite things in life right now;

  1. making messes. It doesn’t matter where, it’s just her thing. Dumping toy boxes, spilling drinks, getting anything and everything everywhere. All messes in my house were created by her. (or the dog. Unless O is shredding dirty diapers and eating sh*t out of the trash can and just blaming the dog but I doubt it.)
  2. scotch tape. Scotch tape is like the newest obsession in my house. She scotch tapes everything. She tries to make books and scotch tape them together, I keep trying to introduce staples as a much more efficient book making mechanism but she won’t stand for it. She even scotch tapes her barbies to stuff, like the kitchen cabinet knobs. It’s like these poor barbies are trapped in giant scotch tape spider web fiasco’s all over my house. It’s both weird and creepy – however may be appropriate to keep around as Halloween Decor.
    1. as a side note W is into that blue painter tape. C uses it to tape down drawings and plans to the drawing table and W likes to rip off 1 million smallish pieces and stick them all over her face and body.
  3. stickers. F stickers. I hate you stickers. I have like a sticker infestation in my house right now. There are stickers stuck to the hardwood floors, toilets, toys, my desk, the kitchen table, the windows… when W was a baby I saw this weird blue thing in her mouth and C and I had to hold her down and dig a blue circular sticker with a flower on it out of her mouth – it was stuck to the roof of her mouth! I kept that one for the baby book obviously. All others stickers get destroyed onsite. 
  4. signs. We have pictorial signs all over the place right now. There is a picture of a girl “scotch taped” (go figure) to the bathroom door because that’s the girls bathroom, sorry daddy you must go outside and do your business. There is a picture of W and another picture of O taped to either side of the family room, because that’s their respective sides of the room for playing. I also found about 8 random signs taped to the wall space above the couch in my office varying in images from flowers to unicorns.
  5. clothes. So she is super obsessed with clothes right now. I know, adorable right? No. It’s effing annoying. She is constantly changing, like “oh, I sneezed and got germs on this shirt – I must change 563 times and throw every article of clothing I own all over the room and for good measure I will also throw some over the upstairs railing down onto the couch in the family room. AND in case that doesn’t drive Mommy to hide in the pantry and drink copious amounts of wine I will THEN proceed to hide the most important articles of clothing, the staples mommy always picks for me to wear in hidden locations, like under the bed or at the bottom of the toy box….”

Listen to me complaining. Like I don’t think everything O does is the most absolutely adorable and hilarious thing ever ever ever. Keep doing your thing O, and I’ll just keep cleaning up after you, it’s my job – plus it gives me great material. (And interesting talking points when my neighbors come over. I doubt anybody else in the neighborhood has Barbies taped to their kitchen cabinets.)

Keratin Smoothing Treatment

My hair is a hot mess. I heard a persons hormones change every five years and that can have an impact on hair texture. Mine has progressively gotten coarser. I had thin pin straight hair until puberty then it went curly. I never had a beautiful curl like O but more of a Brittney Spears type crimp, and mostly in the back… very weird and stupid.

Here are some unflattering pictures of my lion look. This is blown out with no product. I should go out in public like this. I could scare kids. It is so fluffy. Like a collie. I look like Lassie. IMG_2487IMG_2486

You know how people get dogs that look like them? I should get a Lassie. OMG I have a mini Lassie…

IMG_3497

Her hair changed to a woolly freaking mess after she got fixed. We are both in the same sinking hair ship. At least we have each other.

Anyway, I bought this:

Keratin Complex Natural Keratin Smoothing Treatment 4 oz

$54

http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B00G1MOZ2K?psc=1&redirect=true&ref_=oh_aui_detailpage_o02_s00

Got it off Amazon and gave it a try and it worked really good! It took forevvvvvvver but mostly because like I said I have a lions mane. And I should have gotten the 8 oz for sure.

  1. wash with a clarifying shampoo
  2. blow dry
  3. spread on smoothing serum and bake for a while
  4. wash again
  5. blow dry again
  6. flat iron for like a million years

done. This was after the serum application and blow dry. It is still fluffy but there is a small difference.

IMG_2488 

This is after flat ironing for a gazillion years, It was very smooth and thin. You can’t get it wet or wear any hair ties for 3 days. I got stuck in a terrible downpour on the second day but after washing it stayed very straight and didn’t frizz or curl up at all.

IMG_2490

It worked really great and did exactly what it was supposed to do. However… I will never do it again because my hair though frizztastic was very super soft. After the treatment it felt like straw for daysssss. I couldn’t wait until this shit washed out. I could stab someone with the disgusting stiffness of my perfectly stick straight hair. Ultimate decision it worked great, felt terrible. It lasted like 2 – 3 months. It’s finally out and I am so much happier. Guess the grass isn’t always greener!!! I just bought a iron wand thing and I am going to embrace my curlish hair and try to at least reduce the frizz but I must say I am much happier dealing with frizz than stiff nasty straw!

table read

I think I heave serious commitment issues. Like when I commit to something, then regret it and wish I didn’t have to do it, then stress over it and stress over it and stress over it until I get there and have an amazing time and am SO HAPPY I did it. Until the next commitment… vicious cycle, press repeat.

I had known about “table read” for a while. It was a Sunday evening-ish and about an hour and a half away, I knew I would be home late and I didn’t know what it would be like and I was stressing I was going to suck or blow or just whatever word is “in” right now for being a total lame duck.

I arrived on-time and parked right next to one of the other girls in the cast so at least the intimidation of walking into a room of people staring at me was reduced. It was still a bit intimidating walking in there, not knowing what the process was going to be like. Is the producer strict? Is she mean is she snippy??? I was nervous.

First we did a photoshoot for the promotional material. So, you know when you don’t shave and you have to lay your hairy legs all in the laps and over top three other strange women? Oh, you don’t know what that’s like? Ok, well it is embarrassing. In my defense, I wore long capris and didn’t plan on snuggeling, but whatever – we’re all friends now! How about that moment the photographer asks you to take off your shoes and put your feet up on the coffee table and you remember you have the feet of an eighty-nine year old women which are currently died black from the gardening mulch? Yes, that also happened. At least I don’t have anything to be nervous about anymore. I might as well farted at dinner.

IMG_2496

I gotta be honest though, having a photoshoot with a bunch of girls in the park on the water ain’t half bad. Actually it was very enjoyable.

IMG_2502

The table read was also so fun and such a great learning experience. So cheesy, I know. But I googled table reads for like three days trying to figure out exactly what I was going to have to do. Now I am totally prepped for when I land that co-star role.

IMG_2514 How hollywood does this picture look? Damn, should have gotten a mineral water. All famous people drink that weird mineral water that comes in that I Dream of Jeannie shaped green bottle. Must remember that for next time.

IMG_2506

Well, here’s the cast. It’s almost like I have friends. Can’t wait to post more once we start filming!!! Two weeks count down… #nervouspooping

yes, and

Image

Taking a quick lunch break from my regularly scheduled programming (i.e. work) to update ya’ll on this new adventure I have embarked on. I enrolled in an Improv class last night, and it was AWESOME.

This is my self-proclaimed year of change and I have committed to stop procrastinating and making up excuses and as Nike has so eloquently put it Just Do It. Yea I know, that was so lame, but guess what I don’t even care. I’m running on no sleep, extra caffeine and leftover adrenaline from doing something new, that I love but that also terrifies me. It’s the weirdest thing; I love being in the spotlight but at the same time I get so much gut wrenching anxiety thinking about it. I don’t know how to explain it. I’m like an adrenaline junkie who loves the rush of possibly being awesome and making everyone laugh or totally bombing and looking like the biggest terd, ever.

The teacher was totally fantastic too. She was so Melissa McCarthy. I mean, I laughed just looking at her. (I was also jacked on coffee so I was laughing at everything) Getting there was hard though, it was deep in the city which is a total recipe in my book for a panic attack. I actually got there ok, found parking ok and found the building ok – locked and closed but ok. After pacing the block back and forth looking for a way in a random guy in a fedora walked over let me in the back door. Yes it was sketchy inside and very Alice in Wonderlandish as I then followed a ballerina into a dark stairwell to the theatre in the basement, complete with naked paintings hung on the walls. But the class was so cool and we played all these confidence building games and learned some Improv basics like yes, and. Which means “yes” – you always have to agree with your scene partner “and” – you have to build on what they said with something relevant to continue the conversation.

I felt so Who’s Line is it Anyway? which is by the way such an awesome show if you’ve never scene it. Blah! Had to, sorry. More to come on how I put my foot in my mouth, it always happens.